The Denver Post titled this "Looking Past the Obvious"

Sunday, April 23, 2000

Two young men from Mexico have been living with me for the last several years, attending school in Denver. They are truly perfect young people---intelligent, highly moral, hardworking, courteous. Any parent would be proud to claim them, because they are everything we want our children to be. Everyone who knows them loves and admires them almost as much as I do.

So how do I convince them they are equal to anyone? Because they are from Mexico and there’s a pervasive sense in this country that they are somehow less than equal.

Recently Adrian and I were chatting over dinner and he asked why we call ourselves Americans, when we are in fact North Americans and don’t make up the whole continent. I said I thought the British started calling us that; there is no other good short name for us, and what was wrong with it anyway? Adrian said it is that there is such arrogance in our voices, even in mine, when we refer to ourselves thus. I wasn’t aware I sounded that way, although I’m delighted that I was born in this wonderful, albeit flawed, country. But Mexico is a wonderful country, too, I said, with wonderful people. Adrian said, "I know you feel that way, but other people don’t," and tears came to his eyes. I felt such rage and sadness that someone had made this wonderful young man feel bad about who he is.

But there is a subtle---and sometimes not so subtle---attitude here about the Mexican people. Last year a coach at an area high school was suspended for saying his squad can’t compete with other schools because his students are mostly "Mexicans" who just want to "hang out in the parking lot with their gangs."

I was raised in Colorado and, until I lived in Mexico for a year, I, too, thought "Mexican" was a pejorative. I avoided using it, calling them instead Hispanics or Latinos or even Spanish, for fear I would unwittingly insult someone. During the year in Mexico, I came to know the most wonderful people, who welcomed me with open arms and open hearts. I saw the same variety of personalities as in the U.S., most good, a few bad. I saw that they are just like us, with the same hopes and dreams. And I met Adrian and Primo and dozens of other wonderful young people, all studying hard to earn a place for themselves in the world. Now I know the term Mexican should be a badge of pride rather than one to avoid. But how do I convince my boys?

One way is to make sure our circle of friends includes only those who work on eliminating their prejudices, those who are willing to give anyone a chance. Another is to point out that those who judge them by anything other than what is inside are ignorant, fearful people. I bring their attention to news stories that show the accomplishments of other Mexicans, like Alfonso Garcia Robles who was co-winner of the 1982 Nobel Peace Prize. I point out our own prejudices whenever they appear and we discuss them.

But the surest way to cure prejudice, I think, is to spend time with the people we fear. Anyone spending time around Adrian and Primo, observing their beautiful manners, their work ethic, their joy in the things that matter to all of us---love, family, friendship, opportunity---would see that the differences are superficial. Under the skin we are all alike, and all equal in the eyes of God.

Just before the last election, Adrian and I went to hear Carlos Fuentes speak. Afterwards, we were chatting with some friends about the speech, which was about the relations between Mexico and the U.S. I pointed out that Fuentes had used all three terms---Hispanic, Latino, Chicano---every time he referred to people of that ethnic background. I said I never know which to use; for example, what would you call Ken Salazar? He was a candidate for Colorado attorney general at the time and, as we all know, subsequently won the election. His family came to the San Luis Valley from Mexico in 1850 and has farmed and ranched there for 150 years.

Peggy said, "What does he want to be called?"

Stephanie, without missing a beat, said, "Attorney General!"

Doesn’t that sum it up?

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